Piss Off:
Tired of the cheerleading for the enormous amount of crummy San Diego
bands being hyped and signed in the early to mid '90s (does anyone
remember Dig? Rust? Electric Love Hogs?),
the fine gents from Truman's Water
put together an anonymous two-page zine for some much needed heckling.
It was great, but I'm sure the bands and fans they targeted in in Piss Off
totally missed the point.
***
Pissoff #1 :
Because "honesty" beats the living hell out of "positivity."
Price: Give the cashier a nude wooden nickel or a sock in the spleen.
Contents:
Are you into...?
Be It Known
People We Laugh At Regularly
Piss Off Aesthetic of the Week
Where Are the True Stars?
Why Good People Make Lousy Music
Why Naysaying is More Than Kneejerk
Why Record Label Interest Means Nothing
Responsible journalism bite me. A fat smirk goes out to all our sponsors
***
We at Piss Off are so far from cliquey it aches. I would personally love to
firmly shake the hand of every member of Kingmother and say loudly
"Godspeed you friend, continue making yer highly innovative and non-boring
music," but they are not, so I will not. And that goes for so many others.
My pen would run dry to the list all. Fisticuffs to their cheerleaders.
Be it known that Pissoff thinks of itself as a necessary and temporary evil.
That would not and should not exist but for the erroneous recent invention
of "the scene." As imagine by the good people at Plus mag, Sin mag, Umbrella
mag, Loudspeaker/91X, 360 and others. Noble efforts but mostly or all wrong.
Facts must be got straight or there is no escape from this we are told. Facts
must be got straight or pissoff.
Why Good People Make Lousy Music
Because all music is first and finally lousy and made to be ignored. New bands
suck because everybody ignores them and old bands suck because their music
is boring. The only reason music deserves to exist at all is that elusive middle
part between being unknown and boring. Only most music-losers don't know that.
They figure "good" music (anything they aren't bored with yet) will always be
"good" (not boring). So they copy stuff well on its way to being boring If not
already there. Most bands don't even have a chance at the middle part because
they start with boring.
Why Naysaying is More Than Kneejerk
Because we at Pissoff have no knees. Only touchy gullets crammed more than
full with "new" music which is not at all new. With dim bulbs who think major
label interest makes a band important or not important. With Anytown, USA,
music making its new home here and cheering itself on with Honey Glaze,
Flatten Manhattan...because most towns take it laying down and have to live
with it.
What a "Scene" Is Not
Any city full of bands/hacks who pat each other on the back regardless of
relative merit (or lack) thereof.
Why Record Label Interest Means Nothing
Lotsa reasons. Mostly because it's arbitrary. The more A&R types you meet
the more you realize they didn't get their jobs by knowing anything about
music. Either bands exist on their own or not at all. Neither signing or
unsigning means anything in the eyes of God. Only boredom is an abomination
in his nostrils. We seek the true stars. Just because somebody's got enough
$$$$$$ to cram a band down yer throat doesn't mean you should or should
not swallow. We at Pissoff vomit what we cannot taste.
Where Are the True Stars?
In fact all the "good" music has already been made and more than a few
good
people think this is case. Then there is no need for new bands, save
cover/tribute acts like Led Zep-Again, et al. The only real reason to start a
band and write yer own songs is belief that all existing music is boring or could
potentially become boring. This is the first tenent of the true star. All new
bands think they are true stars. That they will exist or will exist beyond what
already exists. Otherwise they would shut up and listen to whatever doesn't yet
bore them. Any band which does not claim to be one of the true stars can and
should be labeled a tribute band. They should indemnify which band(s) they are
a tribute and realize they can never be anything more than that band was. No
one should ever present them as, or confuse them with the true stars.
Tribute bands are not "new" or worth hyping unless yer just in it for the $$$.
Lotsa you are. Figure things out for yerself or you become a walking press-kit,
regurgitated however many times over. Losta you are. Every new band you come
across deserves true star challenge. Are they any different from existing/boring
bands? Make 'em tell you how and if they're ripping off a non-boring, true star type,
are they content? Glorified tribute is tribute no less. Rust, House of Suffering,
Motorkult, Burning Hands -- who needs 'em? Blink twice and they're gone from
unknown to boring. We want longer half-lives.
Kill the True Stars!
We at Pissoff have our own little ideas as to who the true stars are and we advocate
constantly killing them off in hops of finding new and truer ones. If someone
somewhere is bored with yer true stars and good reasons then maybe his/her stars
are truer than yers. If so we recommend devouring them in search of even truer ones.
Elitist? Nowhere near as arbitrary as being spoon-fed by the Man. Above all never
pledge allegiance to a band or musical style as they all have it in them to suck hard
eventually.
Are you into the likes of...
Ministry, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Suede, Body Count, Manic Street Preachers,
Rollins Band or The Beautiful South???
Living Colour, Buffalo Tom, Nine Inch Nails, Carter USM, Pantera???
Jesus and Mary Chain, Alice in Chains, Replacements, The Sundays, Neurosis,
Afghan Whigs, Cypress Hill, Meat Beat Manifesto, Metallica?
WE CUSS YOU WHERE YOU LIVE!
These losers are touted as yer salvation from the current "cutting edge" classic crock
but look who's offering the same slick jokers who've been serving up nothing but total
boredom the past 10 years (at least). This is not a question of personal taste or "to
each his/her own." People get paid good $$$ to tell you who to listen to and the time
has come for them to answer for it. We are bored. You must kill yer careers you-who-
claim-to-be-more-than-you-are. Or let us kill them for you, etc.
People we laugh at regularly: Gina Arnold, Two-Eleven, Mollie Hen, Mike Halerin (sic),
anyone who's ever had anything to do with Sin Magazine, the Resident Raver, "+",
Dwight Arnold, Chuck Eddy, ourselves.